{"id":4185,"date":"2022-10-03T08:05:56","date_gmt":"2022-10-03T08:05:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/salutdobrogea.ro\/?p=4185"},"modified":"2022-10-03T14:50:38","modified_gmt":"2022-10-03T14:50:38","slug":"violenta-psihica-si-fizica-se-invata-la-scoala-si-acasa-povestea-mea-despre-bullying","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/salutdobrogea.ro\/index.php\/2022\/10\/03\/violenta-psihica-si-fizica-se-invata-la-scoala-si-acasa-povestea-mea-despre-bullying\/","title":{"rendered":"Violen\u021ba psihic\u0103 \u0219i fizic\u0103 se \u00eenva\u021b\u0103 la \u0219coal\u0103 \u0219i acas\u0103: Povestea mea despre bullying"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Cu to\u021bii ne-am confruntat, cel pu\u021bin o dat\u0103 \u00een via\u021b\u0103, cu bullyingul. Este un termen venit la noi din limba englez\u0103 s\u0103-i zic\u0103 mai bine intimid\u0103rii.  Provine de la termenul \u2033bully\u2036, care \u00eenseamn\u0103 b\u0103t\u0103u\u0219, pe rom\u00e2ne\u0219te. De multe ori ac\u021biunile nu r\u0103m\u00e2n doar la nivel de intimidare. Se trece \u0219i la fapte, dup\u0103 cum vedem de multe ori la \u0219tiri.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00cen ce m\u0103 prive\u0219te, am dat ochii cu acest fenomen, deloc pl\u0103cut, \u00eenc\u0103 din \u0219coala general\u0103, c\u00e2nd, dup\u0103 col\u021bul \u0219colii, m\u0103 a\u0219tepta un grup de b\u0103t\u0103u\u0219i asmu\u021bi\u021bi de o coleg\u0103 sup\u0103rat\u0103 c\u0103 aveam medii mai mari dec\u00e2t ea. Pentru c\u0103 nu m\u0103 putea dep\u0103\u0219i la \u00eenv\u0103\u021b\u0103tur\u0103, s-a g\u00e2ndit c\u0103 mi-ar prinde bine o b\u0103taie. A venit perioada pre-adolescen\u021bei \u0219i apoi adolescen\u021ba, \u00een care am am avut probleme cu acneea, dar \u0219i cu cei care f\u0103ceau \u2033mi\u0219to\u2036 pe seama modului \u00een care \u00eemi afecta \u00eenf\u0103\u021bi\u0219area. Am crescut, am mers la facultate \u0219i apoi m-am angajat \u00een pres\u0103. Am f\u0103cut cuno\u0219tin\u021b\u0103 cu h\u0103r\u021buirea sexual\u0103 la locul de munc\u0103, dar \u0103sta este un alt capitol vast, pe care, poate, \u00eel voi dezbate pe larg cu alt\u0103 ocazie.<\/p>\n

Bully am \u00eent\u00e2lnit \u0219i la 40 de ani, la alt loc de munc\u0103. Culmea, \u00een r\u00e2ndul cadrelor didactice! Am fost pentru un an educatoare \u00eentr-o gr\u0103dini\u021b\u0103 la sat. Nu c\u0103 ar conta. Cadrele didactice se m\u00e2n\u00e2nc\u0103 la fel de bine \u00eentre ele \u0219i la ora\u0219. Revenind, a fost o experien\u021b\u0103 cu de toate, unde am cunoscut colegi minuna\u021bi, dar \u0219i unele dintre cele mai abjecte caractere pe care le-am \u00eent\u00e2lnit \u00een via\u021b\u0103. Norocul meu a fost c\u0103 \u0219coala era condus\u0103 de o directoare cu tact, o femeie de\u0219teapt\u0103, cu m\u00e2n\u0103 de fier, pentru care nu a contat c\u0103 eram nou-venit\u0103 \u0219i care m-a f\u0103cut s\u0103 nu renun\u021b, de\u0219i \u00eemi venea zilnic s\u0103 demisionez din cauza unei \u2033colege\u2036 cu state vechi, care confunda institu\u021bia cu tarlaua proprie.<\/p>\n

Nu mi-a\u0219 fi dorit vreodat\u0103, dar a venit \u0219i r\u00e2ndul copilului meu s\u0103 dea nas \u00een nas cu bullyingul. Ve\u021bi fi tenta\u021bi s\u0103 zice\u021bi ironic: \u2033Lumea rea, dom\u2035le!\u2036. Da, lumea este rea, iar noi, cei c\u0103rora nu ne convine, avem datoria s\u0103 o facem mai bun\u0103. Dac\u0103 nu pentru noi, m\u0103car pentru copiii no\u0219tri.<\/p>\n

Intimidarea se \u00eenva\u021b\u0103 de la gr\u0103dini\u021b\u0103, de la oameni pl\u0103ti\u021bi de stat<\/strong><\/p>\n

Da, am un copil energic, un b\u0103ie\u021bel de aproape cinci ani, pe care l-am dus la gr\u0103dini\u021b\u0103 cu g\u00e2ndul ca anul \u0103sta s\u0103 \u00eencerc s\u0103-l las \u0219i dup\u0103-amiaza, la somn. “E\u0219ti t\u00e2mpit la cap!”, “Te calc \u00een picioare!” sunt c\u00e2teva dintre expresiile \u00eenv\u0103\u021bate de copilul meu \u00eenc\u0103 din primele zile ale anului \u0219colar. M\u0103 \u00eendoiesc c\u0103 le-a auzit de la copii. Vreo trei zile am \u00eencercat s\u0103 ne adapt\u0103m la programul de somn, de\u0219i perioada de acomodare duce, din experien\u021ba ca \u0219i cadru didactic la program prelungit, p\u00e2n\u0103 la trei s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2ni, o lun\u0103 chiar. Nu s-a putut. Una dintre educatoare s-a pus de-a curmezi\u0219ul \u00eenc\u0103 de la \u00eenceput, amenin\u021b\u00e2nd c\u0103, dac\u0103 nu-mi iau copilul acas\u0103 dup\u0103-amiaza, mi-l pune pe grupul de p\u0103rin\u021bi, s\u0103 vad\u0103 toat\u0103 lumea cine face g\u0103l\u0103gie la somn. BULLY! Da, cadrele didactice pot fi chiar ele bully. Chiar \u0219i etichetarea unui copil, din partea lor, de fa\u021b\u0103 cu restul colectivului, este o form\u0103 de bullying! Pentru c\u0103 dac\u0103 \u00eei spui unui copil \u2033e\u0219ti t\u00e2mpit\u2036 sau \u2033te calc \u00een picioare\u2036, de fa\u021b\u0103 cu ceilal\u021bi copii, \u00eei faci pe ceilal\u021bi s\u0103-l resping\u0103 automat pe cel pe care tu \u00eel etichetezi, din lips\u0103 de r\u0103bdare sau chiar de metode, din inabilitatea de a-\u021bi face meseria.<\/p>\n

P\u0103rin\u021bi bully, copii bully<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bullyingul se \u00eenva\u021b\u0103 \u0219i acas\u0103. Exist\u0103 p\u0103rin\u021bi toxici care cultiv\u0103 \u00een creiera\u0219ul copilului lor ideea c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103-i spun\u0103 \u2033lu\u2035 doamna\u2036 ori de c\u00e2te ori au fost \u00eembr\u00e2nci\u021bi, \u00eempin\u0219i sau li s-a luat juc\u0103ria. Da, m-am confruntat \u0219i cu asta, \u00een calitate de p\u0103rinte. De\u0219i \u0219i copilul meu a venit cu v\u00e2n\u0103t\u0103i de la gr\u0103dini\u021b\u0103, nu m-am dus s\u0103 m\u0103 r\u0103fuiesc cu p\u0103rin\u021bii copiilor sau, mai r\u0103u, cu cei mici, dup\u0103 ce al meu mi-a spus cine l-a lovit. I-am men\u021bionat doar educatoarei, iar eu m-am g\u00e2ndit, ca un om normal, c\u0103 sunt copii, \u0219i c\u0103, a\u0219a cum fiul meu este \u00eembr\u00e2ncit, \u00eempins, lovit poate din gre\u0219eal\u0103 – dac\u0103 nu se repet\u0103 – a\u0219a procedeaz\u0103, poate, \u0219i el uneori. Ce am mai f\u0103cut? I-am spus copilului meu s\u0103 nu procedeze \u0219i el la fel. S\u0103 le spun\u0103 colegilor c\u0103 nu este frumos s\u0103 se comporte a\u0219a \u0219i, dac\u0103 este nevoie, s\u0103 nu se mai joace cu respectivii. Dar nu toat\u0103 lumea face a\u0219a. De la \u00eenceputul anului, pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 educatoarea care nu-mi vrea copilul \u00een clas\u0103 la ea, pe motiv c\u0103 \u00eei deranjeaz\u0103 activit\u0103\u021bile – nu to\u021bi copiii sunt la fel, iar unii nu ne fac via\u021ba deloc u\u0219oar\u0103 \u0219i, ce s\u0103 vezi, trebuie s\u0103 muncim pe bune pentru banii \u0103ia (am experimentat \u0219i asta) – m\u0103 confrunt \u0219i cu aceast\u0103 momzilla, care diminea\u021b\u0103, la pr\u00e2nz \u0219i seara se pl\u00e2nge de comportamentul copilului meu. \u0218i copilul meu \u00eemi spune c\u0103 fra\u021bii X, copiii momzillei, \u2033i-au scr\u00e2ntit oasele\u2036. Dar eu m\u0103 ab\u021bin s\u0103-i spun ei s\u0103-\u0219i mute copiii apreta\u021bi la alt\u0103 gr\u0103dini\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n

Comportamentul toxic se \u00eenva\u021b\u0103 \u0219i acas\u0103<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ast\u0103zi, dup\u0103 ce copilul meu a lipsit vineri, iar s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2na trecut\u0103 s-a comportat frumos, potrivit cadrelor didactice, mama bully a venit din nou cu pl\u00e2ngeri: cea mic\u0103 ar fi sughi\u021bat c\u0103 nu vrea s\u0103 vin\u0103 la gr\u0103di din cauza copilului meu. Nu, nu din cauza copilului meu nu vrea s\u0103 vin\u0103. Nu vrea din cauza comportamentului t\u0103u de p\u0103rinte toxic, care \u00eei \u00eenva\u021b\u0103 c\u0103 ei sunt speciali, iar pentru ei trebuie s\u0103 existe o gr\u0103dini\u021b\u0103 special\u0103, \u00een care s\u0103 nu fie atin\u0219i de nimeni nici cu o pan\u0103, de\u0219i ei dau coate \u00een burt\u0103 \u0219i lovesc cu prima ocazie. Dac\u0103 \u0219i tu faci asta ca p\u0103rinte, nu \u00eei vei ajuta niciodat\u0103 s\u0103 se integreze \u00eentr-un colectiv, \u00een societate, iar copiii t\u0103i vor fi frustra\u021bi toat\u0103 via\u021ba c\u0103 nu pot tr\u0103i pe planeta unde toat\u0103 lumea \u00eei trateaz\u0103 frumos, cum le-a spus m\u0103mica lor c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 fie trata\u021bi. Da, \u00een calitate de educatoare am avut copii care urlau de-a dreptul numai c\u00e2nd un alt copil se uita la ei. \u2033Doamnaaaa, b\u0103iatul Y se uit\u0103 la mineee! Ahahaaa!\u2036, pl\u00e2ngea cu muci o feti\u021b\u0103 aproape zilnic. Evident, nu am \u00eencurajat. Am explicat, am ascultat, am \u00eemprietenit, am integrat. C\u00e2t am putut!<\/p>\n

Dar de ast\u0103zi nu voi mai asculta doar. Voi \u0219i ac\u021biona pentru a-mi proteja copilul de orice form\u0103 de bullying. \u0218i nu doar pe copilul meu. Dac\u0103 este nevoie, \u0219i pe ceilal\u021bi copii de ac\u021biunile copilului meu.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Cu to\u021bii ne-am confruntat, cel pu\u021bin o dat\u0103 \u00een via\u021b\u0103, cu bullyingul. 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